I have always felt that I could get along with anybody. Given the chance I could be friends with pretty much any person...truly. Reason why? I can listen. I may not agree or even understand what someone tells me, but I am a very good listener. I cannot count the number of people who have borne their souls to me, perfect strangers, simply because I was there listening. Not necessarily anything that I could help them with, but at least they had someone to talk to.
Even though I have felt animosity towards few people in my life, I have come to realize that there are those who don't like me. I remember the first time I found out that someone did not consider me a friend. It hurt me deeply. It took me quite a while to come to grips with the fact that not everyone would like me in my life time.
Through the years I've made mistakes. There was the time when my new friend down the hall in our apartment complex was having a very difficult time with her little daughter. Her daughter simply would not stop biting other children. She had expressed her concerns and worries to me repeatedly. Then, as it would happen, her little girl was over at our apartment and bit my little girl. Without thinking, I lightly bit the little girl back. That did not go over well. Even after my repeated apology my friend did not talk to me for months and then she moved back to her home country of Germany. I never did find out whether that stopped her daughter from biting.
Then there was the time when I rolled the window up on a friend while she was in the midst of speaking to me. Of course she was defending my what would soon be my ex-husband at the time, but still my rudeness, because of being hurt, caused me to lose a good friendship.
Yes, there have been many times when I've probably said or done something that offended someone simply because I was hurt or I was defending myself from attack. It's part of life isn't it? If you haven't experienced that in your life then you truly are a remarkable person and I admire you. Unfortunately I just haven't been good enough or smart enough to keep my mouth shut.
While offending others is an unfortunate part of life there is something that each of us can freely give that overcomes all our stupidity...it's called forgiveness. I've easily given it during my life and then many times I've struggled to give it as well. But, as I truly contemplate all that forgiveness means to each of us, I can smile. I smile knowing that if I extend it to those who may have offended me not only do I feel better, but I'm happier. I'm happy because I know that I'm in charge of me. I'm in charge of my feelings and what I do with them.
Nobody, and I mean nobody, can make you feel a certain way. If you're sad it's because you choose to feel that way. If you're depressed or angry or lonely it's because YOU choose to feel that way and do nothing about it. Our life is about taking responsibility for ourselves and being the best that we can be. I read a scripture that says, "Men are that they might have joy" and I truly believe that that is true with all my heart. By me forgiving others, and hopefully them forgiving me...by me working to take responsibility for how I feel towards anything or anyone I will find that happiness that is intended for me to have and I will be the person that I want to be.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
The Smart thing to do?
Used to be I thought I pretty much knew what I needed to know. Then again I'm sure all my teenagers thought and think the same thing. But, as I grow older I realize that saying, "The older you get the wiser you are" is definitely true. I suppose a combination of age, experiences and simple brain growth help with that but, I am older and I am definitely wiser. Just ask me.
So why talk about wisdom and smarts? We hear it all the time don't we? You need to get a good education to get ahead in life. How many of us really thought that was true? Funny how when you're a kid you get so sick of school that you can hardly wait to get done...then when you're older you think...darn I wish I would have finished or I wish I had chosen something different. But, by that time maybe you've had some kids, you've got some grandchildren, you own a house, you have a spouse and the thought of going back to school is simply overwhelming..."At my age?"
I've always thought that society had it a little messed up. I mean we're supposed to know what we want to do for the rest of our lives at the age of 18 or 20? We're supposed to plan for our college major while we're in high school? And then we're supposed to do that specific work for the next 50 to 60 years of our lives? It's no wonder that there are so many 40 and 50 year olds having mid-life crises. You've been doing the same thing for 20 or 30 years and you're sick of it! It's kinda like cooking dinner for 40 years, it gets a little old! Granted there are those lucky few who chose the right profession, maybe got the education that they needed to evolve and make themselves happy, but what about the rest of us?
My husband and I had this conversation just the other day, "What to do now that all the kids will be gone?" Well, I'm here to say that I'm scared to death but, we're going back to school. Can you imagine that? But, it's not even just that simple. My husband never got his bachelor's degree and because he's a respiratory therapist it's not the normal bachelor degree. If...if...we don't want him to have to take a gazillion classes over he has to go back to the college where he obtained his respiratory certificate. Which means...we have to move.
So, the smart thing to do...stick that fear where the sun don't shine, pull courage outta my butt and do what needs to be done. We'll be putting the house up for rent, getting friends and loved ones to take the two dogs, putting some of our stuff in storage and moving up north for a few years. I don't know if we'll be back, we'll see where life takes us...but...we've decided we're not gonna sit around and wait to see what happens next. We're gonna make it happen. I don't ever want to look back and say, "I wish I had finished" again.
So why talk about wisdom and smarts? We hear it all the time don't we? You need to get a good education to get ahead in life. How many of us really thought that was true? Funny how when you're a kid you get so sick of school that you can hardly wait to get done...then when you're older you think...darn I wish I would have finished or I wish I had chosen something different. But, by that time maybe you've had some kids, you've got some grandchildren, you own a house, you have a spouse and the thought of going back to school is simply overwhelming..."At my age?"
I've always thought that society had it a little messed up. I mean we're supposed to know what we want to do for the rest of our lives at the age of 18 or 20? We're supposed to plan for our college major while we're in high school? And then we're supposed to do that specific work for the next 50 to 60 years of our lives? It's no wonder that there are so many 40 and 50 year olds having mid-life crises. You've been doing the same thing for 20 or 30 years and you're sick of it! It's kinda like cooking dinner for 40 years, it gets a little old! Granted there are those lucky few who chose the right profession, maybe got the education that they needed to evolve and make themselves happy, but what about the rest of us?
My husband and I had this conversation just the other day, "What to do now that all the kids will be gone?" Well, I'm here to say that I'm scared to death but, we're going back to school. Can you imagine that? But, it's not even just that simple. My husband never got his bachelor's degree and because he's a respiratory therapist it's not the normal bachelor degree. If...if...we don't want him to have to take a gazillion classes over he has to go back to the college where he obtained his respiratory certificate. Which means...we have to move.
So, the smart thing to do...stick that fear where the sun don't shine, pull courage outta my butt and do what needs to be done. We'll be putting the house up for rent, getting friends and loved ones to take the two dogs, putting some of our stuff in storage and moving up north for a few years. I don't know if we'll be back, we'll see where life takes us...but...we've decided we're not gonna sit around and wait to see what happens next. We're gonna make it happen. I don't ever want to look back and say, "I wish I had finished" again.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Life is scary sometimes
I've never been one to think too highly of myself. Meaning, as a child I was never instilled with the thought that I could do anything I set my mind to. I attribute my lack of "dreams" to that, then again, maybe that's just me and my personality. I'm 52...I've raised five incredible children and I hope I've instilled in them the desire to do whatever they want in life and the self confidence to know that they can do it and now I finally think I'm ready to start believing in myself. My youngest will leave home in just a month or so, he'll be serving a mission for our church that will take him on the journey of a lifetime. He will grow mentally, physically and spiritually and there's a very good chance that he won't ever really live at home again...at least not for long periods of time. That makes me sad and yet, at the same time, it gives me a freedom that I haven't had in over 30 years.
The world is scary out there. I've never thought of myself as someone who needed things to stay the same, or even wanted them to stay the same. Life is all about changing and evolving into the person you want to be. But, to be honest...the thought of going out into the world, of seeing what I have to contribute at my age, makes me almost want to stay at home and be that grandma that waits for her grand-kids to come visit and bakes cookies with them. I said, almost. It simply wouldn't make me a happy camper. And so, I'm looking, hoping and searching for that thing, for that purpose that will allow me the joy and the happiness that I so richly deserve...that we all deserve.
I thought I'd share my journey in a blog. We all struggle with things, we all desire happiness and we all deserve it and maybe by sharing my trails and my struggles, along with some awesome blessings I can help someone out there find their happy place too. Heck, I was even a little scared to start this blog...my greatest challenge...what do I name it? lol Well, I'm sure much of it will simply be me ranting on and on and it will sound like, "blah blah blah" to many of you, but hopefully to some the ranting will mean more than just words on a page. Be happy and enjoy.
The world is scary out there. I've never thought of myself as someone who needed things to stay the same, or even wanted them to stay the same. Life is all about changing and evolving into the person you want to be. But, to be honest...the thought of going out into the world, of seeing what I have to contribute at my age, makes me almost want to stay at home and be that grandma that waits for her grand-kids to come visit and bakes cookies with them. I said, almost. It simply wouldn't make me a happy camper. And so, I'm looking, hoping and searching for that thing, for that purpose that will allow me the joy and the happiness that I so richly deserve...that we all deserve.
I thought I'd share my journey in a blog. We all struggle with things, we all desire happiness and we all deserve it and maybe by sharing my trails and my struggles, along with some awesome blessings I can help someone out there find their happy place too. Heck, I was even a little scared to start this blog...my greatest challenge...what do I name it? lol Well, I'm sure much of it will simply be me ranting on and on and it will sound like, "blah blah blah" to many of you, but hopefully to some the ranting will mean more than just words on a page. Be happy and enjoy.
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